Is School Realy Rubish?

Hi there!

I have experienced quite some years of school, and learned, that it seems like everyone hates it, and that annoys me, a lot!

You have for sure heard some of those sentences before:

"Oh I hate school!"

"School is pointless."

"School is a waste of time."

"I wish school didn't exist!"

After 9 years and two weeks of school I have come to the conclusion, that not the school is rubish. It's the people. Its all those stupid unthankfull students, and sometimes those stupid incompetend teachers. It realy is. 

Those stupid studens, that don't (want to) understand what earth would look like if school didn't exist. Those unthankfull students who seem to not notice what a privilege having the right to go to school is. That annoys me so bad!

And those people are the ones who make school an bad place. Those are the ones who ar responsible for that. Those who say people with good grades have no life. Like seriously, WHY? 

My opinion is, that we do learn some pointless things at school. To be honest the one importand thing we learn, is to learn. 

Isn't it weird, that somewhere on this world, children need donations, only so they are able to afford going to school. Those kids love school, because they know it can change their lifes. 

Of course some more or less rich kid that takes school for granted doesn't understand that.

Honstly, I don't like school either, sometimes. 

Sometimes, lessons make it hard to stay awake. 

Sometimes I want to bang my head on the table, because the teacher's teaching is so bad, or because nobody in my class seems to be able to pronounce "comfortable". 

Sometimes having to get up early in the morning makes me wanna throw my pillow at everything and everyone. 

Sometimes School stresses me out, of course. 

But I don't hate the school, I hate the stress. I hate being tired, I hate the way some teachers teach, I hate the bullies, I hate the math topics that I won't ever need in future life. 

But I'm thankful. 

There is of course one type of people that have a right to hate school, and that's the bullied people. How would you appreciate a place, where you get hurt every day. 

And who's fault is that? -right, the stupid unthankfull students fault. 

When I hear people say they think school shouldn't exist, I wonder why they would prefer not being able to write or read. Why they would prefer being even more stupid than they already are. 

My words may sound a bit harsh, and overdone, but I can't help it. Some themes make me go mental inside. Inside, because you are reading my thoughts right now.

Now I have made it look like everyone is a stupid unthankfull student But luckily that's not right. I also know people who appreciate school. And many people who are just neutral about it, which is fine. Which I am also, if I don't think about schoolhaters too much. 

Luckily I went to school, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to write this..

To sum it up now: It is great that we must to go to school, even though a lot of what we learn isn't necessary for our future. 

Sorry if this was a bit confusing, that's what happens if I write down what pops up in my mind.

I have an mathstest on monday and an english vocabulary test on tuesday. Gonna go study now, bye.

see ya xx

ps: That's why I couldn't/ wouldnt want to be a teacher

Hi there!

So this is part 3 of "my history". its the recovery part. That took me four years already and its still not over completly. but it became better. Please read part 1 and 2 first so you know what's going on.

2010 untill Today.
So my mum went to visit her boyfriend a lot. she was here as often as she was there. It was 2010 and my problems started. And all I wished for was that she would be there. That explains why I cried so much, and begged her to stay, but she didnt. She went on a 6 week trip to australia with her boyfriend. It wasn't a great  birthday suprise, belive me.
Anyway. Because she was away so often, she didnt realy see my change. My dad did, and I think it must have been horrible for him to see it and not beeing able to stop it. He did his best to help me.
I was so desperate, I just wanted to be a normal girl that could do things all the other girls her age could.
Lets start from the part where i wasn't able to visit my friends house. My best friend Anna,
I mentioned her in part 1 made me try it. She said it would be great, and that I could go home when ever I wanted.She did her best to make it a great day. And it was great, which felt like big relive. She talked to me and gave me strength . And she always was the person I could talk too, besides my dad.
Then the part when I couldnt go to school. None fo my school"mates" notized that I was away. I met our schoolpsychologist and she helped me. And I got my first phone, so I could always call my dad.
And those are just some little parts of the recovery. my live went back to "normal" in little steps.
 It wont ever be like it was befor, and I dont care. I know my mum who by the way got devorced with my dad, moved out and married her new love (she lives with him in an other country) would never come back.
But today, I can deal with it.
Back then, all i wanted was to be a child again. To not have to worry about anything. I cried because I felt like my childhood was over. but it wasn't realy to be honest, I played with dolls untill i was 13. And I can tell you because you can't judge me.
Through all that time, my dad was my biggest help. But we also argued a lot. because I would get upsad about anything. Today it changed, I can keep myself calm a lot better.
I just hope that one person who reads it, who maby went through equal things and feels better now.
I just want to say that it gets better. And that you should hold on to the people who love you, and never hide your feelings.
 Now the update.

When it all started, i couldn't go to sleepovers, couldn't meet friends, couldn't go to school, couldn't leave my dad for more than an hour, couldn't throw things away, cried a lot, felt sick a lot and many other things.

Today its all gone. Thank god.

And that all came from jsut one decision my mum made.

Now i want to hear your thoughts please coment down below what the worst thing that you ever experienced was, and how you got over it.

Thanks for reading

See ya xx

Hi there!

Today I will talk about something that many of you probably struggle with. Weight.
You may now think that I am overweight when i now tell you i get bullied, but thats not the case for me. People pick on me because I'm skiny.
And I complain about that.
Eventhough skiny people mustn't complain. But thats not at all fair to me. At one side people bully skiny people, but on the other side we arent alowed to complain about that. That doesnt make sense!

People tell us things like this:
"ew you are so skiny, all i can see is bones"
"You should eat more"
"you know that beeing so skiny isnt hot?"
"you know that guys like curvy girls?"
 " You are SO skiny"

And people think thats ok.

But you cant tell a fat person equal things:
"Ew you are so fat all i see is flesh"
"you should eat less"
"you know beeing fat isnt sexy?"
"You know that guys like well shaped girls?"
"you are SO big"

Because that would be mean. But walking up to someone slim and telling them those things is ok?
Its like people literaly hate us for not beeing big. for not beeing like them.
Why do they do that?
to make themselfes feel better?
do we have to suffer because we are naturaly skiny?
what the hell do those people think?!
We arent alowed to be happy with how we look, but we arent alowed to complain either.
Of course i know that skiny was promoted for a long time, and now its the curvy ones turn.

But thats different.
Naturaly skiny people CAN'T put on weight, unless they eat untill they feel sick. And why would they hurt their body and be unhealthy, just to be "perfect"?
 But big people CAN loose weight if they realy want to.

And Of course there are also normal sized people. But what does normal sized even mean? Is that the middle between skiny and big?  where does skiny end and big start?

Now i want to disgust one last thing.
Offensive songs.
Have you ever heard a song insultig overweight people? No? well, me neither. But have you heard songs insulting skiny people? Yes? well, me too.
The famous example "all about that bass".
Now to be fair, it's ok that she tries to give people her sice and herself confidence.
BUT.
Here is where it get's mean, and offending. "Go ahead and tell the skiny bitches that".
Doesn't sound nice to me at all. Because the message I get from that, is, that she thinks skiny people are bitches.
And then "the boys like a little more boody to hold at night" well, and if you don't have that "little more boody" you won't find a boyfriend? so come on skiny girls, Megan Trainor thinks we are skiny bitches with no bum and no boyfriend, time to eat until we throw up! Is that what people want us to do?
So what happened now is that curvy girls get support, and skiny girls get insults.
well thanks.

Anyway. Maby you are "curvy ore "normal" and you know a skiny person. Please think before you talk.
And if you are a skiny girl, reciving insults, dont worry, they just don't know how it feels. My tip, tell them how it feels. And if they don't understand they are stupid and not worth talking to.

Please write me your opinion in the comments and subscribe:)

See ya xx

Hi there!

So today i'm not going to write part 3 of my story like i told you. I had a thought.
A thought about love.
Some may think its a easy and boring topic to write about, but i promise it isnt.
I mean, nearly every song is about love. So many books are about it. there are different kinds of love.
In fact love isnt just love.
its a bizarre thing. I have been in love many times. and always in different ways. And i cried about love too.
I will write down the kinds of love i think exist. because in my opinion its not just "love"

There is that "omg, that guy is so hot, i'm in love" which is a love just from the outside. if you havent seen him for a week, you already forgott him. well.

Then there is the "he is an asshole, but i love him" which is terrible. Whether it stays for months ore years, its always connected with lots of pain.

Then there is "I am in love with him, but i cant reach him" which is that way with famous people who you will probably never meet. thats bad.

Then there is "I love him, because everybody loves him" which is a dumb thing, but you cant controll it anyway.

Then there is "He is special. omg." thats the kind of guy who seems perfect for you. it can be that its on both ends and it will break your heart if it isnt.

Then there is just "family love". that has nothing to do with " beeing in love". its just loving your family and your friends, which is what keeps the family bound together.

I think that are all i could think of that moment. What i wanted to admit with this is, that love can be amazing and terible. Depends on if it hits you in a good ore a bad way. i have experienced them all.
You know what i hate are the people who think everybody must love them  because they find themselfes so perfect. makes me wanna scream at them "no, shut up"
There is one thing that makes me happy. I know that there will be a guy/girl for everyone at the end. even if i am not perfect at all, there will be someone finding me perfect.
And even if you are not perfect at all, there is someone who wont think so.
this was probably my most confusing blog ever, but i just had to tell someone whats going on in my mind. At the moment.
ps. it would be amazing if you wrote in the comments telling what your experiences are:)

next time i will write part 3 of my story.

see ya xx

hi there!

so this is part 2.
But first I want to say, that I have been thinking about this. I wonder if its right to share your private story with literally everybody. The internet is huge. I don't know if I will feel sorry for writing this, some years later. Maby I will have changed my opinion about everything then. And if so, I would never be able to delete what I wrote. maby out of here, but not out of peoples minds. Maby it's even dangerous. I don't know.
The only thing I know for sure is, that I still want to do it.
You reading this right now, can you do me a favor? Please comment. Tell me what YOU think. That would be amazing.
ps. please read part one before this.

starting in 2010.
My first day of secondary school was terrible, because nobody was like me. For strangers i probably just looked  like that quiet skiny girl, stuck in her own world, that was by the way was turned upside down.
I tried to talk to some classmates, but they talked about things i knew nothing about and ignored me.
Then a girl asked why I was following them around, in a realy nasty voice. After that, i never tried to befriend with them again.
I had never been a quiet girl that nobody cares about before. Suddenly beeing one hurt me a lot because i already had thin skin from what happened to my life recently.
I was defenseless and because teenaegers can be so horrible, they started to bully me. And I couldnt do ore say anything. They would laugh at me anyway.
Now that you know what happened at school, i will tell you what happened on my inside.
The transformation that slowly happened. I didnt even realy notice it untill it was very bad.
first signs were that I couldnt go on sleepovers. I would be so homesick. But that homesick was only a inner fear. a fear that something could happen to my dad while i was away.
then I couldnt visit my friends at all anymore. i was to terrified to leave home.
And I had feelings for objects, which were full of memories for me. Memories of the time when everyting was fine, I mean childhood memories.
And last, I wasn't able to go to school anymore. I remember riding my bike ther, and that i apruply turned around and rode back home, crying.
and those were just some thing that happened to me.
When I think back at it, i feel that anxiety again, and it makes me sad. I couldnt realy enjoy life because deep inside, i was always scared to loose my dad, after i had already lost my mum.
I think i gave up a lot of times. There were months where i cried every night.
I remember asking my dad "what if i will never be normal again?" he always told me that wouldn't happen.
He was right, but I didnt realy belief him at back then. I went through a lot of  ups and downs.
I nearly started crying while writing this. I'm not even lying. Thinking back does still hurt and it probably always will.
In part 3 I am going to write how I got back up and tell you about my illness.

Please tell me in the comments, if anything like that happened to you. And what you think about it all. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

see ya xx

Hi there!

So in my first post, I said i would tell you "my story". I don't know if anyone even wants to read it. But if there is just one person, it is worth writing this.
I was born in 2000.
I remember that growing up, I always was a happy, nosy little girl, with a amount confidence, that even some adults dont reach.
I did weird things, like randomly saying "hello, i am Artemis, who are you?" to strangers.
on my first day at kindergarden, i met my best friend Anna. I mention her here, because she plays a part in the story, being there from the beginning to now. I could tell you a lot of things we experienced together, but thats not the point of the story today..
More importand now is to tell you why I had such a confidence and happiness. I was like I was, because I had my family always with me. my family, that were my mum, my dad and my big brother, Myron. I felt strong, because my family was strong.
From my first school years, i have mostly positiv memories. And of course those where you think "what the hell, why did i do that?!" ...anyway. I had no problem finding friends and got good grades.
But of course I didn't notice the "behind the sence" of my life, because I was to young, and because I thought everything would be ok. I wasnt used to anything else.
I have to say my parents did never realy fight. Maby their love just burned down like a candle, and some day, that candle was gone.
My mum started traveling a lot, we stayed at home. Like I just said, I did not expect anything to happen. she always told me it was going to be alright and stuff.
One day I found out she had a boyfriend.
I remember my dad anouncing it, and that I ran to my mum crying, not even realy understanding what it all ment. the only thing I thought was "my perfect family. Its broken"
Even my brother cryed. I have never seen him crying before or after that. He then just cut our mum out of his live.
and again, she told me, everything was going to be alright. and I belived it. but she was wrong.
At first no big changes happened. Only that mum went to visit her boyfriend a lot. Eventhough he lives far away from our home. Nobody said anything about "divorce", and "moving out".
But clearly my dad was not happy with what she did. and it broke my little 10 year old heart to see him suffering.
that time I completed primary school and where i live there is diferent types of schools to go after that. and with the bad luck I had recently, I had to go to another school than all of my friends.
At first I thought everything was going to be fine. but I was wrong. never in my wildest dreams I could have known what was going to happen.

second part coming soon.

see ya xx

Hi there!
This is my very first post on my very first blog. Feels kinda strange to be honest, but in a good way.
I guess I should tell you some things about myself so you know what to expect for my coming posts.
first things first, I am not a nativ english speaker, so if my sentences sound funny sometimes...well.
So, I wanted to start this blog because I have a lot of thoughts and so much so say. and I want to let other people know them and hear their thoughts about it.
I have always written. I mean since I learned how to.. I wrote/write  little storys, big storys, poems, and  diary. And now this.
I don't know where the ideas come from, but my mind is full of them. I'm weird, get used to it;)
I am a 14 year old teenage girl now. have a loving (and "special") family, the best friends I could ask for and am most of the time happy. But this hasn't always been that way. I spent 4 years of my life crying and always full of anxiety. thats also a reason why I wanted to start this, I want to share my story. maybe there are other people out there who went through the same sort of thing.
so if you are interested in whats going on in a red headed teenage girls mind, I think you are right here.

see ya xx