How to: destroy the planet

Hi there!

Todays topic is: The world today.

Because the world is pretty f***** up recently.

Not just at this moment, but it has become worse, and more visible.

It seems,that everything is just about power and money, rather than justice and basically saving the planet.

Isn't that sad? Just thinking about it makes me angry.

How can money be more important than a human life? More important than the future?!

I don't now how, but it obviously can.

There are so many problems right now, and everybody is shocked like: „What, that's horrible!“

But most still do nothing.

Most people continue eating lots of fastfood, for example at macdonalds. They just try to ignore that it tortures animals and the planets. They don't want to see it!

Here's a little funfact: When you eat your little burger, you are responsible for a animal being treated horrible and killed.

You are responsible for the rainforest being destroyed. (To make more space for more burger meat/cattle). Just think about it.

But now let's stop talking about meat, I will post a seperate Text about that.

There are so many things that you could do!

-save water

-save energy

-save food
-don't buy crap

-Don't vote for Donald Trup/AFD

-Take part at demonstrations for example

-Donate money to charitys (every pound/dollar/euro can make a difference)

Those are just a few.

Let's talk about war. There has always been war somewhere in this world, and there still is. And that is not good!

So many humans die because of it, every day.

Millions have to flee from their home country, and become refugees, eventhough their future is unclear. Those people are scared, and do what everybody would do.

What you would do too. And they flee to countrys where they can live a save life.

Or could. There are 2 basic problems:

1.Too little space for too many refugees

2. Ignorant, scared, racist humans

And I'm going to explain why I call them ignorant, scared and rasist. In my opinion, they are all true.

-ignorant: because they think that refugees should stay out of their countrys. They ignore, that those people just want to survive! The ignorant people live save lives, but still don't care about others.

-Scared: Because they fear something might change. Many people are scared of changes.

-racist: The major reason why refugees "shouldn't" go to the country is: (in the case of germany) because they are not german.

Because they speak another language and belive in other things. In those peoples eyes every refugee is evil, comits crimes and rapes women.

Do you think that is true? And if yes- what the hell is wrong with you?!

My home town houses a couple of hunderet refugees. And people in my town help them. the refugee children go to german schools, and people donate clothes and toys, things are going well. Nothing has changed, apart from that.

Refugee doesn't equal criminal.

Now just imagine, there was war in your home coutry and you flee. Then another country, (let's say turkey) decides „Nope, you can't get in! You'll take our jobs and money, also you are a criminal, for sure. So go home. I don't care if you die!“

What would you do? Go home?

->Don't be a ignorant, scared, racist person.

There are many other things that go completly wrong, (global warming, for example)

But if I wrote about everything, this Post would turn into a book...

I hope you have learned at least something from this.

Have a good day:)

A Very Bad Day

As soon as we get home, I run to my room and slam the door. Then I throw my coat at the huge unicorn next to my bed. Following the coat, glows and my hat fly across the room, too. The unicorn is still smiling at me. „Yeah, you always keep smiling, Lucy!“ I jell at it. It doesn't answer. Lucy just keeps smiling, and staring at me, with her huge blue eyes. I guess she has no choice. „Lucky you! There never is a reason for you to be upsad!“ I say, this time not as loud. It's not the first time talking to my stuffed animal. I walk across the room to my bed, suddenly feeling very exhausted. I feel like a skyscraper is standing on each of my shoulders. A poisonous mixture of preassure, despair, helplesness and pure sadness. I fall onto the bed, head down. The skysrapers don't move. Oh, I forgot to mention, there is also a huge imaginary stone stuck in my throat. I stretch my arms and legs, looking like a starfish. Acually I guess I'm trying to pretend I am one anyway. So to sum it up, there is an 15 year old girl in a very bad mood, lying on her bed, trying to be a starfish. But it's not that simple. Not at all. It's actually very complicated. I lift my head up a bit, and glance at Lucy. Then I quit lying in bed, to walk over to Lucy, picking up my clothes, throwing  them on the floor next to me. Then I get back into bed, with Lucy in my arms. She is soft and cosy. I wish everything was so soft and cosy. I wish this day had been soft and cosy, that all these bad things just hadn't happened. But they have.

I was so close to crying at the hospital, when the doctor gave me the bad news. I wasn't going to die or anything, but his words were painful. „There are still seizures seen in your EEG“ (electroencephalogram) he said. „You won't be allowed to drive any car, until that is gone“. I nodded, but realy I wanted to cry. „Also, we need to take blood, to see how your body is reacting to the medicaments“ I stared at him. Then I shook my head „no!“ My dad then explained to him, that I was terrefied of that. The doctor promised that he would make sure it's done by someone who has experience. Still, the thought of someone stabbing a needle into my arm makes me feel sick. But my fear wouldn't change anything. I would have to come here again in two months, have another EEG done, and they would take blood. As if what happened before the hospital visit hadn't been bad enough! Getting bad grades for no reason, and knowing that you haven't studied for two classtests coming in a few days, can ruin a day very quickly.

Oh, my dad and I had been so confident that the EEG would go well, we were sure that we'd go home happily. But instead we were driving in silence. We did exchange a few sentences, but that was it. At that point I was just staring. Just staring in shock, staring out of the window, staring at the supermarket, at people, our house, then staring at my stuffed animal unicorn.

Now I feel the first tear running down my face. I see it drop onto Lucys' horn. Then I start to sob. Now I can finally cry, after holding it back for so long.

Hours later, I have calmed down. But only because I have no tears left. Lucys head is all wet now, and I'm surrounded by hundereds of tissues. My mind is going in circles. Suddenly I jump up, and stumble to my desk, unplugging my laptop, to get back under the blanket with it. I turn it on. The bright light is blinding me. „Uh, the light of a thousend suns“ I mumble, quoting Troye Sivan. And then I start typing.

Is School Realy Rubish?

Hi there!

I have experienced quite some years of school, and learned, that it seems like everyone hates it, and that annoys me, a lot!

You have for sure heard some of those sentences before:

"Oh I hate school!"

"School is pointless."

"School is a waste of time."

"I wish school didn't exist!"

After 9 years and two weeks of school I have come to the conclusion, that not the school is rubish. It's the people. Its all those stupid unthankfull students, and sometimes those stupid incompetend teachers. It realy is. 

Those stupid studens, that don't (want to) understand what earth would look like if school didn't exist. Those unthankfull students who seem to not notice what a privilege having the right to go to school is. That annoys me so bad!

And those people are the ones who make school an bad place. Those are the ones who ar responsible for that. Those who say people with good grades have no life. Like seriously, WHY? 

My opinion is, that we do learn some pointless things at school. To be honest the one importand thing we learn, is to learn. 

Isn't it weird, that somewhere on this world, children need donations, only so they are able to afford going to school. Those kids love school, because they know it can change their lifes. 

Of course some more or less rich kid that takes school for granted doesn't understand that.

Honstly, I don't like school either, sometimes. 

Sometimes, lessons make it hard to stay awake. 

Sometimes I want to bang my head on the table, because the teacher's teaching is so bad, or because nobody in my class seems to be able to pronounce "comfortable". 

Sometimes having to get up early in the morning makes me wanna throw my pillow at everything and everyone. 

Sometimes School stresses me out, of course. 

But I don't hate the school, I hate the stress. I hate being tired, I hate the way some teachers teach, I hate the bullies, I hate the math topics that I won't ever need in future life. 

But I'm thankful. 

There is of course one type of people that have a right to hate school, and that's the bullied people. How would you appreciate a place, where you get hurt every day. 

And who's fault is that? -right, the stupid unthankfull students fault. 

When I hear people say they think school shouldn't exist, I wonder why they would prefer not being able to write or read. Why they would prefer being even more stupid than they already are. 

My words may sound a bit harsh, and overdone, but I can't help it. Some themes make me go mental inside. Inside, because you are reading my thoughts right now.

Now I have made it look like everyone is a stupid unthankfull student But luckily that's not right. I also know people who appreciate school. And many people who are just neutral about it, which is fine. Which I am also, if I don't think about schoolhaters too much. 

Luckily I went to school, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to write this..

To sum it up now: It is great that we must to go to school, even though a lot of what we learn isn't necessary for our future. 

Sorry if this was a bit confusing, that's what happens if I write down what pops up in my mind.

I have an mathstest on monday and an english vocabulary test on tuesday. Gonna go study now, bye.

see ya xx

ps: That's why I couldn't/ wouldnt want to be a teacher

Hi there!

So this is part 3 of "my history". its the recovery part. That took me four years already and its still not over completly. but it became better. Please read part 1 and 2 first so you know what's going on.

2010 untill Today.
So my mum went to visit her boyfriend a lot. she was here as often as she was there. It was 2010 and my problems started. And all I wished for was that she would be there. That explains why I cried so much, and begged her to stay, but she didnt. She went on a 6 week trip to australia with her boyfriend. It wasn't a great  birthday suprise, belive me.
Anyway. Because she was away so often, she didnt realy see my change. My dad did, and I think it must have been horrible for him to see it and not beeing able to stop it. He did his best to help me.
I was so desperate, I just wanted to be a normal girl that could do things all the other girls her age could.
Lets start from the part where i wasn't able to visit my friends house. My best friend Anna,
I mentioned her in part 1 made me try it. She said it would be great, and that I could go home when ever I wanted.She did her best to make it a great day. And it was great, which felt like big relive. She talked to me and gave me strength . And she always was the person I could talk too, besides my dad.
Then the part when I couldnt go to school. None fo my school"mates" notized that I was away. I met our schoolpsychologist and she helped me. And I got my first phone, so I could always call my dad.
And those are just some little parts of the recovery. my live went back to "normal" in little steps.
 It wont ever be like it was befor, and I dont care. I know my mum who by the way got devorced with my dad, moved out and married her new love (she lives with him in an other country) would never come back.
But today, I can deal with it.
Back then, all i wanted was to be a child again. To not have to worry about anything. I cried because I felt like my childhood was over. but it wasn't realy to be honest, I played with dolls untill i was 13. And I can tell you because you can't judge me.
Through all that time, my dad was my biggest help. But we also argued a lot. because I would get upsad about anything. Today it changed, I can keep myself calm a lot better.
I just hope that one person who reads it, who maby went through equal things and feels better now.
I just want to say that it gets better. And that you should hold on to the people who love you, and never hide your feelings.
 Now the update.

When it all started, i couldn't go to sleepovers, couldn't meet friends, couldn't go to school, couldn't leave my dad for more than an hour, couldn't throw things away, cried a lot, felt sick a lot and many other things.

Today its all gone. Thank god.

And that all came from jsut one decision my mum made.

Now i want to hear your thoughts please coment down below what the worst thing that you ever experienced was, and how you got over it.

Thanks for reading

See ya xx

Hi there!

Today I will talk about something that many of you probably struggle with. Weight.
You may now think that I am overweight when i now tell you i get bullied, but thats not the case for me. People pick on me because I'm skiny.
And I complain about that.
Eventhough skiny people mustn't complain. But thats not at all fair to me. At one side people bully skiny people, but on the other side we arent alowed to complain about that. That doesnt make sense!

People tell us things like this:
"ew you are so skiny, all i can see is bones"
"You should eat more"
"you know that beeing so skiny isnt hot?"
"you know that guys like curvy girls?"
 " You are SO skiny"

And people think thats ok.

But you cant tell a fat person equal things:
"Ew you are so fat all i see is flesh"
"you should eat less"
"you know beeing fat isnt sexy?"
"You know that guys like well shaped girls?"
"you are SO big"

Because that would be mean. But walking up to someone slim and telling them those things is ok?
Its like people literaly hate us for not beeing big. for not beeing like them.
Why do they do that?
to make themselfes feel better?
do we have to suffer because we are naturaly skiny?
what the hell do those people think?!
We arent alowed to be happy with how we look, but we arent alowed to complain either.
Of course i know that skiny was promoted for a long time, and now its the curvy ones turn.

But thats different.
Naturaly skiny people CAN'T put on weight, unless they eat untill they feel sick. And why would they hurt their body and be unhealthy, just to be "perfect"?
 But big people CAN loose weight if they realy want to.

And Of course there are also normal sized people. But what does normal sized even mean? Is that the middle between skiny and big?  where does skiny end and big start?

Now i want to disgust one last thing.
Offensive songs.
Have you ever heard a song insultig overweight people? No? well, me neither. But have you heard songs insulting skiny people? Yes? well, me too.
The famous example "all about that bass".
Now to be fair, it's ok that she tries to give people her sice and herself confidence.
BUT.
Here is where it get's mean, and offending. "Go ahead and tell the skiny bitches that".
Doesn't sound nice to me at all. Because the message I get from that, is, that she thinks skiny people are bitches.
And then "the boys like a little more boody to hold at night" well, and if you don't have that "little more boody" you won't find a boyfriend? so come on skiny girls, Megan Trainor thinks we are skiny bitches with no bum and no boyfriend, time to eat until we throw up! Is that what people want us to do?
So what happened now is that curvy girls get support, and skiny girls get insults.
well thanks.

Anyway. Maby you are "curvy ore "normal" and you know a skiny person. Please think before you talk.
And if you are a skiny girl, reciving insults, dont worry, they just don't know how it feels. My tip, tell them how it feels. And if they don't understand they are stupid and not worth talking to.

Please write me your opinion in the comments and subscribe:)

See ya xx

Hi there!

So today i'm not going to write part 3 of my story like i told you. I had a thought.
A thought about love.
Some may think its a easy and boring topic to write about, but i promise it isnt.
I mean, nearly every song is about love. So many books are about it. there are different kinds of love.
In fact love isnt just love.
its a bizarre thing. I have been in love many times. and always in different ways. And i cried about love too.
I will write down the kinds of love i think exist. because in my opinion its not just "love"

There is that "omg, that guy is so hot, i'm in love" which is a love just from the outside. if you havent seen him for a week, you already forgott him. well.

Then there is the "he is an asshole, but i love him" which is terrible. Whether it stays for months ore years, its always connected with lots of pain.

Then there is "I am in love with him, but i cant reach him" which is that way with famous people who you will probably never meet. thats bad.

Then there is "I love him, because everybody loves him" which is a dumb thing, but you cant controll it anyway.

Then there is "He is special. omg." thats the kind of guy who seems perfect for you. it can be that its on both ends and it will break your heart if it isnt.

Then there is just "family love". that has nothing to do with " beeing in love". its just loving your family and your friends, which is what keeps the family bound together.

I think that are all i could think of that moment. What i wanted to admit with this is, that love can be amazing and terible. Depends on if it hits you in a good ore a bad way. i have experienced them all.
You know what i hate are the people who think everybody must love them  because they find themselfes so perfect. makes me wanna scream at them "no, shut up"
There is one thing that makes me happy. I know that there will be a guy/girl for everyone at the end. even if i am not perfect at all, there will be someone finding me perfect.
And even if you are not perfect at all, there is someone who wont think so.
this was probably my most confusing blog ever, but i just had to tell someone whats going on in my mind. At the moment.
ps. it would be amazing if you wrote in the comments telling what your experiences are:)

next time i will write part 3 of my story.

see ya xx

hi there!

so this is part 2.
But first I want to say, that I have been thinking about this. I wonder if its right to share your private story with literally everybody. The internet is huge. I don't know if I will feel sorry for writing this, some years later. Maby I will have changed my opinion about everything then. And if so, I would never be able to delete what I wrote. maby out of here, but not out of peoples minds. Maby it's even dangerous. I don't know.
The only thing I know for sure is, that I still want to do it.
You reading this right now, can you do me a favor? Please comment. Tell me what YOU think. That would be amazing.
ps. please read part one before this.

starting in 2010.
My first day of secondary school was terrible, because nobody was like me. For strangers i probably just looked  like that quiet skiny girl, stuck in her own world, that was by the way was turned upside down.
I tried to talk to some classmates, but they talked about things i knew nothing about and ignored me.
Then a girl asked why I was following them around, in a realy nasty voice. After that, i never tried to befriend with them again.
I had never been a quiet girl that nobody cares about before. Suddenly beeing one hurt me a lot because i already had thin skin from what happened to my life recently.
I was defenseless and because teenaegers can be so horrible, they started to bully me. And I couldnt do ore say anything. They would laugh at me anyway.
Now that you know what happened at school, i will tell you what happened on my inside.
The transformation that slowly happened. I didnt even realy notice it untill it was very bad.
first signs were that I couldnt go on sleepovers. I would be so homesick. But that homesick was only a inner fear. a fear that something could happen to my dad while i was away.
then I couldnt visit my friends at all anymore. i was to terrified to leave home.
And I had feelings for objects, which were full of memories for me. Memories of the time when everyting was fine, I mean childhood memories.
And last, I wasn't able to go to school anymore. I remember riding my bike ther, and that i apruply turned around and rode back home, crying.
and those were just some thing that happened to me.
When I think back at it, i feel that anxiety again, and it makes me sad. I couldnt realy enjoy life because deep inside, i was always scared to loose my dad, after i had already lost my mum.
I think i gave up a lot of times. There were months where i cried every night.
I remember asking my dad "what if i will never be normal again?" he always told me that wouldn't happen.
He was right, but I didnt realy belief him at back then. I went through a lot of  ups and downs.
I nearly started crying while writing this. I'm not even lying. Thinking back does still hurt and it probably always will.
In part 3 I am going to write how I got back up and tell you about my illness.

Please tell me in the comments, if anything like that happened to you. And what you think about it all. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

see ya xx